Wisdom is knowing when to speak. Intelligence is knowing when not to.
– Socrates of Athens
I’ve been in a bunch of rooms, tech meetups, office standups, Discord calls, random weekend “let’s brainstorm” sessions and I’ve noticed this pattern. There’s always that pressure to say something. To contribute. To appear smart. Like if you don’t speak up, people will assume you don’t belong.
But here’s the thing. Sometimes, the smartest move is just to shut up and listen.
I’m not saying zone out. I’m saying actually listen. Observe. Track the conversation. Let the loud ones go full TED Talk if they want to. Let them make their points, repeat themselves, circle back, and go off on tangents. You’re not being passive. You’re being present without burning your energy on showmanship.
Being the loudest in the room doesn’t make you the smartest - just the loudest
I’ve been in a room where someone was confidently explaining how a specific caching strategy works and they were close, but slightly off. Not a big deal. I didn’t jump in. They kept going. Ten minutes later, they hit a wall. That’s when I stepped in, gently corrected it, and tied it back to what they were saying. No one rolled their eyes. In fact, they appreciated it. Because I wasn’t interrupting to flex. I was just there, filling the gap, keeping the flow.
Not every moment demands a mic-drop insight. Not every conversation needs your stamp on it. Sometimes, just nodding along, reacting subtly, and letting someone else lead is enough. And weirdly, those moments make people trust you more. At least from my experience.
You’re not trying to hijack the room. You’re not playing power games. You’re just grounded.
The loudest person isn’t always the most knowledgeable (they could be though). They’re just the most comfortable speaking. And that’s fine. Let them have the floor. But you? You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You’re not on trial.
If something feels wrong, if someone’s spreading nonsense, or if the convo derails hard, that’s when you speak. And when you do, it matters. Because you’re not just adding noise. You’re fixing something.
People remember that.
There’s this weird assumption in tech culture that “if you’re quiet, you’re not contributing.” But that’s such a surface-level take. Real value isn’t measured by how often you talk. It’s by when and why you talk. And what happens after you do.
Honestly, there’s a kind of peace in being the person who doesn’t feel the need to be on all the time. You’re not trying to win a room. You’re just trying to understand it.
And that’s a power in itself.
